Saturday, August 5, 2006

55-year-old's RDB effect . . .

For the uninitiated, this goes for info-indispensable, that by RDB, I mean Rang De Basanti ……now I don't expect anyone to ruminate over what's Rang De Basanti. Right.

It is about yesterday, August 4 2006. After a somewhat hectic day at college, I was bursting with 'delight', when the classes ended at 5'o clock in the evening. Friday it was, and I was craving for the trip back home, especially after the 3 hour long machining workshop I was tortured to. Though college and home, both are in Delhi, the word 'trip' would still make sense, considering the journey duration being 130 minutes including changing modes of transport (RTV -> metro -> pvt/dtc bus ) two three times and most importantly the sheer volume of vivid experiences associated with it.

So there I was, as soon as classes ended, I hastened to get out of the college premises to catch the RTV. To maintain honesty in writing, adding that the 'delight' was all but gone after the 20 odd minutes in the RTV cannot be done without. 'Delight' as I mentioned in the beginning, was absolutely out, and sweat, strain, distress and pain were in. Air conditioned metro gave some respite though.

OK OK, enough of the prologue, it shouldn't get lengthier than the real content.

So here's for the real piece. At 1825 IST, I board a pvt bus from Cannaught Place. After about 15 minutes of journey, a traffic policeman on the road yells at the sight of this bus. Bus stops. A 'mujhe-haath-laga-ke-toh-dekh' type of man ( not traffic policeman ), shouts at the driver, " rak ibb(ab) bhaar(baahar) likadne(nikalne) ku(ko) bhi bolu ke(kya)."(don't know Hindi? It means "should I also ask you to get out now, sir?" ;sarcasm of course intended) Driver, otherwise no less a 'bond' himself, looks worried. Gets out of the bus. A minute later conductor leaves too. The seventy-eighty passengers in the bus are getting annoyed. Various reasons : getting late; its hot; unsure whether they'll have to change bus now; unsure whether ticket amounts will be refunded ; and meanwhile its getting hotter. Suddenly a 50-55 year old bhaisahab-banarasi, sitting with me gets heated up. Must say his hindi was pretty 'Ramdhari Singh Dinkar' type , full of JOSH. Plus his vocabulary would've put even Dinkar to shame.

He begins, 'kya vyavdhaan utpann ho gaya'? (whats the problem)

'yeh log (referring to traffic police) sabko aise hi pareshaan karte hain.' (they irritate everybody like this)

' in se hi desh ka sarvnaash ho raha hai' (they are ruining the nation).

Suddenly a sound of slap is percieved by my ears. By everyone's I think, infact. I glance out through the window. This time I don't just hear but see. One more tight slap at the pimple-ish cheeks of the conductor.

Bhaisahab gets angry like hell. A scene of Sunny Deol screaming in 'Ghaatak' reels across in my mind. He gets up. I ask, "kahan? Uncle jee"(where? Uncle.) Bhaisahab: ' bete tum vyarth ho, padhe likhe jawan ho kar bhi haath pe haath rakhe baithe ho.( 'You're useless fellow, educated but worthless'.)" Abhi salon ki khabar leta hun" (now I'll teach them a lesson).

He gets down. Agitated, I follow. Impressed, others follow.
Now twenty odd of us are down along with a driver, 2 conductors, 3 traffic policemen. Here the policeman was fondly remembering driver's mother and sisters…I'll add although I feel there's no need : gaalion ki bauchhaar ho rahi thi.

Bhaisahab enters the conversation, "kya baat hai..aap apni apni shaktiyon ka durprayog karenge kya" (whats happening..u think u can misuse ur powers.)

Policeman : re tere pet mein ke darad pad ra hai. (but why r u complaining stomach ache..we're dealing with the driver).

Bhaisahab : theek se baat keejiye, challan katna hai to challan katiye, chahe 50 rupaye ka ho ya 50 hazaar ka, par yaatri kyun vyarth mein peedhit hon ? Hum kya jaante nahi ki aap yahan apni jeb garam karne ki vyavastha kar rahen hain…yeh nahi chalega" (talk with respect give him challan, amount doesn't matter, but don't create problems for passengers. Don’t we know, u're irritating us in order to fill ur pockets)

Policeman 2 : manne ke teri poochh paadi hai…rak bawli tared chup baith ja, na dun tere bhi… rak tu hai ke be?" (what wrong have I done to you, shut up and leave, what do u think of yourself).

Bhaisahab : main tera baap.(I'm your dad)

Me: (shocked & scared) uncle chalo please bus mein .. Aa jao..driver aa jayega 2 minute mein.( uncle lets leave..driver will come in 2 minutes).

Bhaisahab : are ruko, ( takes out the phone ) .. .(now to the police) ..abhi tumhare baap se baat karata hun… tabhi tumhe akal ayegi ( pretending he's gonna call their commisioner ).." (to police: come talk to ur big daddy).

Police out of its wits …snatch the mobile phone in haste… policeman 3 says : (to the crowd), jao jao ho gaya…(to the conductor)..ja ja bus le ja tawli..chal. (go, go its done, to conductor: go go take the bus ..go)

Mobile phone respectfully returned, "sir aapka mobile."

Police: relieved, bhaisahab: on cloud 9, driver&conductor : in seventh heaven, me : confused like I'd never been, frankly never thought someone from among us would do such a thing .. And never ever thought ..that it would work. Phew.

Finally, all of us back, bus faster than a cheetah, hot weather turns pleasant… bhaisahb states rather loudly( referring to traffic police), "main inka paani bhi
Nahi peeta, aap log yakeen karenge"( I don't even drink water at their place, will you people agree? ). Bus seemed to roar with 150 hands clapping. And excitement soaked me that very instant.

Never dreamt I'll get to witness Rang De..effect from a fifty five year old. Never expected so much thrill in a journey of ticket worth Rs.7 … for which I bought a Rs.5 ticket… ha ha ha ..yara da tashan dekh lo.

A finishing without this won't do :

Khalbali hai Khalbali

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