Saturday, February 24, 2007

Pessimism isn't dreary

Life's through a lot of hullabaloo these days. Twenty days back, had someone asked me - although its another thing nobody even asks .. and these everyday questions are also a part of hypothetical assumptions in this bloggers' rocking lifestyle - so how's it going for you ? Then I would have answered - not good at all. But ask me today - so how was it going twenty days back ? - now this looks like a typical hypothetical question - and I'll answer - wonderful. Such is the state of my pessimistic mindset. A long lost school friend called me up yesterday and I was cheerfully surprised that my mobile actually rung. And you need not be a disbeliever to resist digesting this last line. Actually, even I, at first, kicked my roommate out of his highly audible and ear friendly sleeping state as I thought it to be his phone ringing. It was only after he became even more alarmingly ear friendly after getting up that I realised it was my phone that was ringing. On cloud nine I was and I started searching like mad my mobile trying to sense where the sound was coming from. As soon as I began this modus-operandi, the phone stopped ringing. The roommate remarked - 'bad luck'. Subconsciously I tended to agree with him to the T with his remark but I forced myself to answer - 'shut up you fool ! At least it rang today. Shakal to achhi nahi hai baat to achhi kiya kar.' He stared at me with anger, I answered 'oh galti ho gayi … ab chhod bhi yaar' with my eyes. To another utter surprise , he relented. So after jumbling through mattresses and bedsheets and pillows and tables and chairs and suitcases, I found my phone right next to the dustbin. Sending all inhibitions to the dustbin, I picked my phone from next to it. Saw the number and decided to dial back whoever it was, however was somewhat sceptical that I'd get to hear - '' haan bhai bakhshi bol raha hoon, aaj tune call back kaise kar li … achha samjha .. Maine number jo badal liya hai''. Now this bakhshi is a real narbhakshi who'll bore you into suicide with his phonecall even when at his fascinating best. Happily, when I called, it was some voice I failed to recognise. He told - and I got - he was a school friend as I have already mentioned. After ten minutes of conversation in which he blabbered - 'aur kya chal raha hai' - 'kabhi milte shilte hain' - 'tu to bhool hi gaya *&^%$' - 'koi bandi vandi set kari' - 'aage kya karne waala hai', he finally said something that provoked thoughts -' arrey S*****t, I used to think you were an optimistic guy, and I'm thinking now about how wrong my perceptions about people can go'. I was myself thinking of it since afternoon - my lack of hopes - but still decided to change the topic. I knew I couldn't change myself (pessimism again ? ) but I could at least change his newly acquired perception of me ? Hoping so, I cracked a few jokes and I felt light when he actually laughed hard at them. Just when I thought I had pulled off this mission impossible, I don't know what urged him to ask me - '' do you watch horror movies'' and then took some names as unfamiliar to me as victories to Zimbabwe's cricket team when I answered - ' oh I have seem some Ramsay stuff like shaitaan ka kankaal and aadamkhor hasina'.. He cut me short and asked - 'do you believe it, I mean tujhe vishvaas hai bhoot hotey hain' and I said ' yaar bhoot to hotey hongey par films mein jab dikhateein hain ki jesus christ ka cross ya shiv ji ka trishul dekh kar bhoot bhaag jaatey hai, is baat par vishvas nahin hota'. I can guess what he took of this statement of mine when he exclaimed - 'you're gone. Tera kuch nahin ho sakta. You pessimist, hopeless fellow.' and ended the call. Sigh. Bad luck again.
Although every word in the preceding text smelt of pessimism, I still feel it didn’t smell of dullness. And isn't what I just said in this previous line the height of optimism. Isn't it .
Impossible is nothing.

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