Friday, November 30, 2007

Void

Jab mere paper chal rahe the tab mujhe hamesha ye hi lagta tha ki yaar kab khatam ho ye, aur kab main free ho jaoon . Aur ab jab paper poore ho gaye hain aur chhutiyan ho gayi hain to sach mein aisa lag raha hai ki yaar isse to kal tak hi achha tha kam se kam har samay kuchh karne ke liye to hota tha. Tension rehti thi lekin boriyat to nahi hoti thi. Aaj to saare din match hi dekhta raha, jaaffer sahi khel raha tha lekin phir bhi yaar poora din, vo bhi test match , is t20 ke zamaane mein, hadd ho gayi. Aur uske baad se yehi soch raha hoon ab kya karoon, kahan jaoon vagehra vagehra. Isi soch mein baithe baithe ghar pe rakhi hui mithaiyaan bhi saari khaa gaya pata nahi kis kis ki shadi ke naam ki. Ab ye post likhne bhi isiliye baitha hoon ki bhai banda kuchh to kare. Exams se pehle to gharwale bhi itne kaam batate the, ab unhe bhi koi kaam vaam nahi karvana mujhse kamaal hai.


Thand to kaafi ho gayi vaise is baar, par dekh raha hoon ki koi moongfali n all nahi mangvayi hui ghar pe, aaj hi lekar aaunga.


Hostel mein rehte rehte shakal bhi kauwwe jaisi ho gayi hai kal ragad ragad ke mail utarna padega

Chalo bhai ab moongfali lene jaata hoon, aadha ghanta aur time katega


Kisi ko pata hai kya ki hindi ko hindi mein kaise type karoon, mera matlab devnaagri lipi mein.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Urgent Updates!!

Its been some time, hasn't it? I am never so busy so as not to find the time to write a post, but I somehow I didn't have anything to say. Anyway, November wasn't much different from the other months, except that we had our exams, which are infact still underway - two more of them to go.


Speaking about exams, they tend to distort the person you actually are. I often find myself doing things during exam days, that I normally wouldn't even think of. Like setting a 3AM alarm bell. Like coming back from an exam and immediately sitting to start studying. Like thinking that the stuff I'll be cramming five minutes before the exam would turn out to be a sure shot scorer for me. Though it’s the time I am always behind schedule, it is also the time that makes me think the most weird of things. Like around 5th or 6th of November, I had my Dynamics of Machines Viva the next day, and I didn't know a scratch about it then. It was about quarter to seven and I sat to make my calculations about how much time I'll need to grasp things at a superficial level, because it was just a practical. Unrealistic as always in making these hour and minutes calculations , I figured out that I could do that much just in time if I started studying from seven in the evening. But by the time this schedule got ready, it was already seven fifteen. So I thought lets delay the whole thing a little more, and start it at 7.30, 7.15 doesn't look nice. Its so strange that when you know you don't have the time to rest or lay down, you crave for it so much. Ok not you, I. And when you're completely free, you do far more physical movements the entire day and when logically you should have been more tired by the evening, you never give resting or anything even a thought. I'd even shrug off a suggestion to rest as ridiculous otherwise. And there I was, elated at the thought of lying down for fifteen minutes. And there's this weird compulsive disorder with me. Some years back our Munna Bhaiya at Vidyamandir Classes, which, for the uninitiated, is an iitjee coaching institute, gave us an advice about managing our time and minimising our re-fresh time effectively, told us that you could extract as much relaxation and rejuvenation from a 15 minute time slot as you'd from a 3 hour rest, but the condition is that you should keep yourself completely blank. Thoughtless. Think nothing. Zero. Since I was so fond of him and anything he said was worth gold for me, I have this compulsive disorder now of trying to think nothing whenever I want some rest, which on the contrary makes my mind wander all that much more. So trying to think nothing, I lay myself on the bed looking at the fan on the ceiling move at a low speed. It was early November then, so the fan had been set at a somewhat medium speed. It was fast enough to shake the spider nets turbulently and still slow enough to not cause it any harm. Even as I started scanning Delhi Times, my mind wandered back again and again to the spiders that were vibrating like anything, when it struck me what an awful life they have. Its like sitting in your room when the earthquake happening, and continuing sipping your tea hoping that your house won't collapse. Awful life but the spiders don't complain. Probably they haven't ever tasted the good life. And some more things. And then I thought what weird things I've been thinking when I am already short of time for preparing for the test. That’s when I kicked the mattress hard and checked the watch only to find that it was already 7.40. That’s when I showed the utter heights of procrastination and decided to start at 8, and making up for the lost time by giving next morning's bath a skip. And drew myself back to my tryst with the spider.


Added later: Reading this post again after posting it, I honestly feel what boring gibberish this one has turned out to be. But I told you beforehand, I don't have much to say these days.