Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Day 12

My boss' mother passed away today. I felt sorry for his loss when he informed me of it, but I would be lying if I don't disclose that moments later I found myself almost automatically thinking of how it would be harder now for me to express to him any possible dissatisfaction with my announced bonus or some such thing, when it is revealed in a few days. I had been thinking of having this compensation conversation with him for some days, but shouldn't the news of this loss have submerged it under an ocean of everything that makes us human? That was not to be; a few moments after I got the news I was telling myself -- with a tinge of disappointment of a man whose plan goes wrong -- that the backdrop for negotiating a raise is sub-optimal now, that I can't be as assertive slash aggresive with him with this personal tragedy of his still so recent. And then I realized where, in what kind of goals, my mind was dwelling. If at such moments of loss, these bland concerns are able to unseat a sense of empathy for a fellow I work with every day, then I'm far, far away from where I hoped to be. I usually think of myself as fairly unenthused by matters of money mongering, so this self-awareness of my swift impulses came as a rude awakening.

Home from work, I resumed reading 'The Road to Character' by David Brooks, and I have to say, it is a very fulfilling, nourishing book. I'm still reading that book, and looking forward to going back to it after posting this entry.

What else, I had a big dinner today. It was one of those "I'll eat heavy today because anyway I'm going to lead a spartan life from tomorrow until time's end" days. Only such days have been coming a little too frequently these days.

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